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Breaking News: Major Theme Park Set for Finger Lakes Region

4/1/2012

S. Palozzo,  Staff Writer

FingerLakes.com has learned that approval is expected shortly for a 113 acre amusement and entertainment complex in the Finger Lakes region. The complex will be modeled after Dollywood, the sprawling theme park located in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Similar to Dollywood, the complex will use be themed around world class entertainers, and rumors have been circulating for weeks that the final theme will be built around either Justin Bieber or the Kardashian Family.

Competing Plans from Bieber and Kardashian

Local politicos are waiting to learn which celebrity tie-in will win, either Bieber or Kardashian. According to the plans that were leaked to FingerLakes.com, the Kardashian plan is dedicated to the history of reality TV. Exhibits will include “The Real World – the Birth of an Era”, “Are You as Crazy as a girl on the Bachelor” and a miniature exhibit entitled “Kardashian Family Values”. The plans also include a section of the park dedicated to “Jon & Kate Plus 8”, where Kate Gosselin will lead tours, answer questions and aggressively berate any husbands who are in attendance.

The Bieber plan is focused on "music", with exhibits and performances dedicated to renowned musical acts such as the Baha Men, New Kids on the Block, Nickelback and Chumbawumba. Regional musical groups will also be featured, including The Finger Lakes Ladies. “Bieberstock”, an annual outdoor concert held on the first Tuesday of February, is projected to draw 93% of all 12 year old Canadian girls. Most are expected to travel via sled dogs to Toronto where they will board the Fast Ferry to Rochester.

A roller coaster is also included in Bieber’s plans, though ironically at just 3’ 9” tall Bieber will be unable to take advantage of the ride for several years.

Why The Finger Lakes?

While attention to the Finger Lakes has been booming in recent years, few could have expected that two high profile Hollywood celebrities would be competing to build what has the potential to become a worldwide destination. In the end, it appears that the decision was made largely based on New York State’s low taxes and friendly business climate. Our source tells us "they chose the Finger Lakes for this project because of the business friendly climate New York State has created. Low taxes, minimal regulations and a legislature that works together for the good of the people, not for special interests."

Mixed Views from Residents

While some residents have expressed outrage at the plan, Sheldon Silver of Manhattan thought it was a great idea "Aside from making sure that Finger Lakes wineries are not allowed to grow and increase their revenues by selling their product to millions of New York residents at grocery stores, this is one of the best things that I think can happen to the region." His travelling companion, "Mario from Albany" refused to comment.

Celebrities Not Alone

The winning celebrity will not be the only Hollywood type in the area. Alec Baldwin’s mother lives just outside Syracuse, and John Travolta is in the final stages of purchasing Keuka Lake.

 

FingerLakes.com is following this story closely and will post updates as they occur.

 

Note: This story was originally posted on April 1st. Please note the date before you send us angry emails... :)